Friday, April 4, 2014

You from the Outside...Looking In

If you’re a lot like me…well, then I feel bad for you.

And stop being so annoying!

No…that’s not what I meant…but really…STOP!!!


What I meant to say was, if you’re a lot like me….

Okay…I’ve got this, now….

If you’re a lot like me, then you pretty much think absolutely no one in the world really knows you like you know you….

How could they?

How could they know you secretly enjoy watching and collecting Britney Spears music videos from the late 90’s.

Or that you still keep an 8 track tape player hidden in your glove compartment, just so you can listen to all your old ABBA tapes from the 70’s.

All defining characteristics as to who I…I mean you…really are.

Well, that and the public records that had, until recently, been sealed.

I mean who knew it was illegal to drink a Budweiser in Boston?


But secret choices of music or beer isn’t really what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about the difference in how we see ourselves compared to the way in which the rest of the world sees us…even our closest and most enduring friends…including the 3,600 friends you have on Facebook.

Many of us walk around every day with a constant narration running through our brains.

I don’t mean like secrets messages from your hamster telling you that you need to straighten out androgynous Pat who constantly helps him or herself to the diet coke you stash in the back of the break room fridge, every day.

I mean more benign things, like:

 I have to polish these shoes sometime before the next decade.

Or, I really like how I look in red, but do people think I’m just showing off? 

I think that new girl in accounting really likes me…but maybe she’s just staring at my mole.

The neighbors must think I’m odd because I like to sit in the attic and stare out the window all day on Saturday and Sundays. 

Hey, it’s the weekend…what else am I… I mean are you…supposed to do?

We only see ourselves from the inside looking out, with our friend, the narrator, constantly keeping tabs.

Constantly telling us how the rest of the world, on the outside looking in, sees us.

Or so we think…or more accurate, so the narrator thinks.

And how many times has the narrator held us back from things we really want to do in our lives?

I can’t audition for Dancing with the Stars…not after the incident at the Kirby’s wedding….

My rendition of “Oklahoma” is flawless but there’s no way I’m getting up at Karaoke night... not until they get rid of that Sushi Chef who looks at me funny. 

I should really submit my proposal to incorporate personal robots into the traffic department, but maybe not until the boss stops thinking I’m the UPS guy.

True or not true…I don’t know?  But that’s the kind of thing we tell ourselves, every time we want to take a chance with something.

Even worse, it's very often the kind of things the narrator tell us to think twice about, even when we’re really not taking a chance at all.

Little things like deciding to write a poem and showing it to our friends.

Picking up a guitar and strumming it at a party.

Making a toast at your best friend’s wedding.

Making a presentation in front of your peers.

Creating art in stained glass or concrete mushrooms.

All the things that, much too often, we see from the inside, looking out through the skewed windows attached to our minds.

They’re all looking at me like I’m odd.

They think I should stick to playing my iPod.

That guy over there is looking at me weird.

That woman in the corner is trying hard not to laugh at me.

But the reality is, from the outside looking in, all those people are really saying is…

Hey, I wish I could put myself out there like that.

That was such a beautiful poem.

She gave such a beautiful toast.

I wish my mushrooms were as nice as that….

Hmmm…I wonder if the effects I feel from that chili dog are making me look weird…and is that woman in the corner laughing at me…again?

So who would you say really knows you best: you…looking from the subjective inside out…or everybody else…looking from the objective outside in?

You against everybody else… everybody else against you...and the narrator?

Maybe we should just go with the odds.

But you’re probably thinking this is the dumbest idea you ever heard.

I can actually hear the sneering.

Maybe I shouldn’t even post this…it’s really kind of out there.

Ooops…I just hit the post button.

How do I retract….how do I retract…?

I can’t find the delete button….

I didn’t really mean to put this out there….

This is really embarrassing…..


Have you picked up my new book “The Kingdom of Keys”?
No....what's up with that???
Better hurry before they're ALL GONE...which is a lie because they'll never be all gone...never....

So why not buy one just to reward my forthrightness..ness...ness?

You might even enjoy it.

And spread the word...cuz nobody else is....

Just sayin....
Available now at -  Click Here

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  1. Hey, I've given this a lot of thought. And (1) That's really Dan Rather on the inside; and (2) Those on the outside really don't notice much about anything. They are listening to their own Dan Rather.

    Anyway, I probably told you I don't get poetry.

    1. What poetry? You got it exactly....
      Except mine is more the Garrison Keillor type....

  2. Very clever writing as always...

    1. You should see my grocery lists!

    2. Do you recycle them? I do, so someone can copy them. Or maybe there is a collector out there, or a hoarder. Is there a difference?


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“Is there anybody alive out there…”