Looking for a Kernel of Truth

I’ve been spending a lot of  time lately looking for a kernel of truth.

So far, no luck.

And I’ve looked just about everywhere.

Behind the TV…under the bed…even in the tool shed, behind the mulch.

No luck…nothing, nada…not a single kernel of truth to be found…anywhere.

At this point I’d even settle for a Major of  truth…or even a lieutenant.

Maybe even an enlisted truth…although you always have to be careful with those, even if you do find one.

And it’s weird because I’m always hearing there’s a kernel of truth in just about everything.

So you’d think it would be pretty easy to find one.

Hmmmm…maybe behind the garage.
 

I’ve also heard, “if you don’t have your health you don’t have anything”…which is just flat out wrong.

I once had a really, really bad cold and I still had most of my stuff…except tissues.

I had totally run out of tissues…so maybe that’s what they mean.

People also say, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”.

Well, if you just had the week I’ve had…you might want to rethink that one!

I mean after you stop laughing.

Then there’s the ever popular saying—at least with moms—“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

No comment….

And then of course…“Don’t sweat the small stuff.”

Because, you know…that just messy…and looks weird.

They say, “It’s the thought that counts”…but then again, “action speaks louder than words”…

So does that count too…and which counts more, let alone faster?

Of course it also stands to reason…”Everyone is entitled to their opinion.”

Maybe…but do I really need to listen to it?

Someone said, “If you love something set it free”…but then don’t be surprised if it moves in with the new neighbor down the street.

Followed by, “It’s better to have loved and lost…than to have bought a “Welcome to the Neighborhood” gift basket for the new neighbor down the street…after you helped him move in.

Not a single kernel of truth there….

But I guess, as someone else said, not sure who…”It is what it is”…of course unless it’s not…because then it’s something else…and then you just feel silly.

A friend used to say, “Good things come to those who wait”…which might be true…but I’m still waiting…so I’ll have to get back to you…soon…I hope.

I used to think “A fool and his money are soon parted” had a kernel…but then I sent all my money oversees to this Princess in Nairobi, but for a good cause…something to do with cat gills…so that disproved that saying…at least in my opinion…which I’d like think I’m still entitled to…no matter what that certificate I paid good money for, last year, says in the fine print.

A lot of people like to say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”…but all it really does is make the laundry easier to manage.

Which brings us back to my aforementioned search for a kernel of truth…anywhere.

And still, it’s nowhere to be found….

Of course I could be barking up the wrong tree…which has happened before…a lot….

But that’s a story for another day.

Maybe a Thursday….

I’ll check my schedule and get back to you…soon….

And speaking of checks…it’s in the mail.

You should get it any day now.

Along with the kernel of truth, once I find it…because I know it’s out there…somewhere.

Maybe it’s in my other pants.

I’m sure that’s where it is.

I’ll bring it next time….

I promise….

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