I’m just now starting to get a handle on this whole
Interactive Internet Content providing thing.
Or blogging, which is a lot less impressive way of saying
what I’m doing here.
It’s not so much what you say, or have said in the past, that
gets people to click on and check out what you’re posting on any given day…it’s
what you call it.
People click on interesting and provocative titles.
“4 Headed Cat Eats Man Out of House and Home!”
“Woman Divorces Husband—Sells Kids for Trip to Disney Word!”
“Sunscreen Found to Cause Shrinkage!”
All good titles all of which will probably have nothing to
do with the actual stories.
I suppose I could sit here and make something up to illustrate
that point, in a potentially humorous manner, but that would require effort on
my part and I’m just not in the mood to effort anything, today…which, as you
know, is pretty much par for the course.
Besides, I’m not really interested in content any more…just
titles....
I’ve actually been aware of this now for some time. I’ve
noticed over the years how my “Hits” or “Clicks” increase exponentially for anything that has “Zombie” in the title.
All big “Hit” machines.
And why not…everyone loves Zombies…I mean, except when you’re
waiting in line, behind them on the 12 Item or Less Express Lane, at the
supermarket…a concept for which they have absolutely no respect, whatsoever…..
But if I write an insightful piece, which explores why we don’t
see more Ostriches as pets, or why Pez isn’t as popular as it once was…and assign
a clever, but benign title, it will probably just sit there, unread, until my Great
Aunt Lucy, finishes her on-line mahjong game.
So I was thinking, maybe I should re-tool the Retort and
write only about Zombies, because you know, there’s just no end to their
un-dead shenanigans.
But it’s also been my experience that too much of anything—even
Zombies—can get a little old and stale after a while—especially Zombies—not to
mention the nasty smell of decomp that can get a little overwhelming at times…even
between the best of Zombie friends.
Or I can just go the exploitation route and re-purpose
(fancy word for repeat) all the old stuff that nobody’s really seen, with a
more provocative title…just by adding— “Without
Pants”— to everything.
Come on, tell me you’re not going to be even the least bit
interested in seeing what that’s all about.
All good stories…all good messages…and now maybe people will
actually read them…with or without pants….
And even if they don’t who cares…as long as I can record a click onto my SEO report.
I have absolutely no idea what that means, I just know it
sounds important.
So there you go…a new strategy…designed and soon to be “deployed”.
That is…you know…as soon as I can find my pants….
If you enjoy the Retort, do me a favor and click on the "Like" button, up top on the right (PC's only), or "Like" the FLR Facebook Page, here. Things have picked up considerably from a week ago and now with a few more "Likes" I'm hoping to cash in on the sea monkey aquarium.
If you don't like it, please click the same button...but with a negative attitude. Thanks....
Or Now you can just
Tolerate the Retorts on Facebook
—"Like" is much too much of a commitment—
—"Like" is much too much of a commitment—
Always food for thoughts amid your retorts Brian (no rhyme intended). This time I note your acknowledgement of strapline power which predominate so many of you prolific missives. 'New Daz' also seems to not only catch the eye but infect the minds of shoppers. Keep them coming, although my time will not always allow me the freedom Give the credit you obviously deserve. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ropey...as always. I had to get out my British translation key, but was happy to find the rudiment of a compliment in your waggish testament...
DeleteWhat a mystery! Is he a Brit? Tell him he is not allowed to split infinitives in the USA.
ReplyDeleteReally is that a rule? I am going to hurriedly look that up!
DeleteHe's not only a Brit but a poet...so you have to be sure to cut him some slack.....