It’s December 26th and time to put Christmas back in the box for yet another year.
All that goodwill towards men and holiday good cheer…done.
Now we can get back to being our normal, inconsiderate, grumpy selves.
That’s a relief.
My mouth is so dry from all that smiling.
Plus, I was running out of ways to wish people a happy holiday without offending them.
I actually rented some extra smiles, this year, since my smiles come in a limited supply.
Which is why, during the rest of the year, if you run into me on the street you won’t see me smiling all that much.
So don’t take it the wrong way.
It’s not you, it’s me.
Well…it probably is you…but, like I said, don’t take it the wrong way.
It could have been anybody…it just happened to be you.
Plus, you just ran into me…probably knocked me over, too…so what do you expect?
Of course, there’s still another week of merriment—extended—to work our way through.
Extended, because New Years falls on a Thursday, this year…so most people will take off through the weekend
Unless they have one of those important jobs where they saves live or something…then they have to go to work.
So it’s best to steer clear of those folks and save the “Happy whatever’s”, in general.
You may need these people, down the road…so it’s best to avoid them with all your excess merriment…especially on the road.
Take my word for it.
Speaking of excess merriment, get ready now for an onslaught of 2014 retrospectives…the best of…the worst of…the endearing mediocrity of—
And that’s’ just the lists for last year lists of 2013 retrospectives…the best of…the worst of…the endearing mediocrity of—
Plus, now, every place you go everyone will be wishing you a Happy New Year!
And you’ll find yourself doing it too…can’t help it.
It’s like yawning …one person starts and soon everyone in the room is yawning too.
Yeah….“Happy New Year!” ... “Happy New Year to you too!”
Unless you’re my nephew, Kyle, who announced at Christmas Eve dinner that he has issues with people telling him to “have a nice day”…at any time of the year.
He thinks it’s insincere.
He doesn’t think the woman packing his groceries really cares about the quality of his day at all…especially after he caught her sticking a thumb into his bananas…and not just one banana…all the bananas.
So he may have a point.
In truth, it would probably make him happier if people told him to “have a crappy day”, just so the odds of them having a nice day would increase, statistically.
That would be more honest…according to Kyle…my nephew…who shares some of my DNA.
But only on alternate Fridays during the winter.
I need all my DNA during the summer.
Yeah…a lot of it makes sense now, huh?
Sounds nutty, I know.
Must be all that eggnog.
But have a nice day, and a great rest of the holiday season, to boot…or glove…or scarf…whichever you prefer….
I mean it….really…I do….
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