Tuesday, December 30, 2014

New Days Ahead

So it seems my calendar has nearly used up all its days, again.
Which is disappointing because we talked about that.

But don’t worry, I’m gonna run out and pick up a new one—again— later today.

I’m still hoping the prices go down a bit more.

I never like to pay full price for days.

Why would I when I can wait and get them on the cheap.

Of course sometimes cheap days come with a price…so to speak…cheap or not.

Sometimes, the cheap discount days you buy from the guy behind the dumpster are a little shorter than the full price days you normally pick up at a reputable stationary or calendar store.


Sometimes by only a few minutes a day, but those minutes add up over…well, you know…time.

So you have to be careful because after a while you may find yourself, literally, a day late, if not a dollar short.

Plus it throws your scheduled DVR recordings all out of whack.

And if you find yourself with a calendar full of used days…well, you don’t even want to know.
Believe me, I know what I’m talking about. 2009 was such a weird year for me.

All because I wanted to save a few bucks.

I should have known something was up when the 9 looked suspiciously like a 7 with curly hair.

Short days are bad enough, but used days end up being nothing but a lot of hazy Déja Vue.


I mean who wants to relive that whole chiropodist thing, again.

Especially since it wasn’t even your original day to begin with.

And do you really want someone else experiencing that awkward encounter you had with your 6th grade teacher…the one you hadn’t seen in 35 years?

How is a person supposed to know who to talk to and not to talk to at the Atlantic City, Chi Chi Lounge…especially in that kind of lighting?


Cut rate days usually come with bad weather, as well.

The sun can only shine so bright for so long.

And most of the warm summer days are pretty much used up, or just plain stale from sitting on a shelf all that time.

Plus you can end up with days that still have a few “Jersey Shore” episodes to burn off.

So you have to be careful.

A general rule of thumb is to make sure the discounted calendar is still wrapped in its original sealed plastic wrapper.

A general rule of big toe it to make sure the discounted calendar is wrapped in bacon…but that’s just stupid and clearly illustrates why nobody ever follows any rules that come from any toe, or feet in general.

Anyway, I hope this little informal guide helps if you’re still in the market for a new set of days in 2015.

There are a lot of unscrupulous people out there who will take advantage of people they suspect are clueless.

Believe me; they call here all the time.

Not sure why.

Enjoy the countdown to midnight and all the brand new days ahead.

And if you find yourself forgetting old acquaintances, around midnight—gee, I wonder why—forget about all that "Auld Lang Syne" stuff…just write them down on a piece of paper and you should be good to go…unless you can’t remember where you put the paper.

And have a happy 2015!





  1. I'm changing my pockets they seem to be a tad loose on change.

  2. Incidentally, the comment "either cheer up or take of the hat" had me rolling in laughter. There has to be a rhyme idea there,

  3. Cant take credit for the line, though I'd like to. Enjoy your new pockets. I hope they have as much pun in them as your old ones. Have a great new year!

  4. happy new year, brian!! may we have better days ahead. only good to come. cheers!

    1. Thanks, Nic same to you and yours...and the Wook....!


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