Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Narcissistic Nitwit

The bad thing about being a Narcissistic Nitwit is that—A: you were probably born a Narcissistic Nitwit, and B: you will probably always be a Narcissistic Nitwit.

The good thing is, since you are a Narcissistic Nitwit—A: you don’t mind being a Narcissistic Nitwit, and B: you eventually come to think that being a Narcissistic Nitwit is the greatest thing in the world…if you hadn’t already…which you probably had.

Having said that, I guess one of the nicer things—Narcissistic Nitwit or not— about sitting where I sit nowadays, is I’m able to see the world from both sides of the fence.

Plus I can use confusing double metaphors, which nobody really understands, but won’t question, because they figure I’m old enough and experienced enough that it must mean something…which isn’t necessarily true.

But in this case it is.

What I’m suggesting, or pontificating—which is more accurate—is that when you’re young and coming into your own, you basically think you understand everything there is to know about the universe, in all its grand majesty…plus a couple of other universes that most people aren’t even aware exist.

You feel that once you learned to ride a bike, you also invented the wheel…and the little bell thingie.

And now you can’t wait to tell other people about it.

In fact you can’t imagine how the world has been able to manage without this wheel— let alone the little bell thingie—for so long, in the first place.

But you’re more than happy to share your unique perspectives and insights with all the clueless unfortunates in the world, whose lives you are more than happy to enhance.

Thank me…thank me very much….

I’m more than welcome…yes, I know, I know….

No need to embarrass yourself.  Let me….

Then after you live a while—actually live and experience all the sides and all the angles life has to offer; the light, the shadows and those murky areas in between—you realize that nobody, least of all you, has all the answers.

And boy, let me tell that ever a relief!

I mean who needs all that responsibility?

Not a Narcissistic Nitwit like me….

Sure, it’s natural, once you get a little age under your belt, to have an inclination to help others in avoiding the same mistakes that you made.  So you can’t resist offering a little grey beard advice now and again.

And once you do, whether or not it’s heeded isn’t really your concern. It’s enough that you put it out there.

And, the truth is, we know the lessons best learned were the ones we taught ourselves by making those mistakes in the first place.

And when we fell, we had a choice: sit there and feel sorry for ourselves, hoping someone will come and bail us out…or pick ourselves up and try not to make the same mistake twice.

I usually took the latter approach, mostly because I was too much of a Narcissistic Nitwit to take no for an answer. And because I was a Narcissistic Nitwit, I usually made the same mistake more than twice…with the same results, which is also the definition by some—not me—of crazy.

But the world needs the Narcissistic Nitwit.  Without them we probably wouldn’t have a light bulb, or a computer, or an iPod. We also probably wouldn’t have a couple of dozen buildings and golf courses named Trump, but hey…nobody said it was a perfect system.

 I mean no one asked ME to design it….

Unfortunately, for every successful Narcissistic Nitwit there are probably ten thousand unsuccessful ones, who basically can’t get out of their own way. But they’re not hurting anyone, other than themselves…and their families…and their friends…and their co-workers…and every poor person in the world who has to offer them a service of some sort or another and just don’t know what they’re doing!!!!!

But I digress….

As I said…it gets better with age. Presbyopia aside, you begin to see things a lot clearer the further you move away from your overextended goals.

You start to realize that where you are is really not too bad, and the way you got there, circuitous or not, was the way you needed to go.

And you see the same is true for everyone around you.

They didn’t need to do it the way you thought they needed to do it, when you were young; the way you did or didn’t do it. The way you suddenly discovered and knew would save the world.

Now, you understand; they already knew it and discarded it. Knew it wasn’t for them, much to your disdain and condescending contempt and loathing.

That’s just the way of the world.

Why should you waste all your genius and greatness on them?

And if you’re not smart enough to know that…well then I just feel sorry for you….



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  1. Well, I get it. You see, I cannot believe that the world existed before I was born. Because I invented it, AND my parents also. And everything that exists in the world, including you. My cousin, on hearing this, said it was the ultimate solipsism. Yeah. She wasn't happy to know I invented her.

  2. Yes, all the time - because you can't step into the same river twice.

  3. Too harsh a retort as we feel that you're far too soft centered to bel self centered. A good one nevertheless.

    1. Thanks for your confident evaluation, but actually my center is more nut based than soft.....


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