The Freelance Retort: Halloween Ghoul Trouble

So now all the ghouls are mad at me.

Me….

Great!

Just what I need on Halloween…angry ghouls bad mouthing me on Twitter.

I mean what did I do?

I just introduced the Teenage Boy Zombie to the Teenage Girl Vampire, so now I’m the bad guy because someone said they’re dating.

I mean one date is not a relationship.

It was just a movie and some ice cream afterward.

Sure…the Teenage Boy Zombie promised her his heart, but that was just the after effects of the Rom-Com talking.

Besides, he doesn’t even know where his heart is anymore…

And yes… Teenage Girl Vampire did show a little too much fang…especially for a first date…but that sugar cone was pretty stale.

How else was she supposed to bite into it?

So now I have to deal with BOTH Zombie Dad AND Vampire Dad banging on my front door in the middle of the night.

I mean you know what it’s like to be woken up by one angry ghoul?

Well, just double that.

Yeah….

And I’m innocent I tell ya….innocent.

The other day I was outside watching the Zombies put up their spook house, when Natalie—that’s the Teenage Girl Vampire’s name—walks over and asks me if we enjoyed the blood brownies she brought by the house the other day.

Naturally, I said we did, but you can guess where that whole tin ended up.

Anyway, who should shuffle over but Todd—the Teenage Boy Zombie—who starts flirting…you know, just a little flirting, in that Zombie way.

Showing off his muscles…or somebody’s muscles…rolling his eyes at something funny Natalie said.

So what if he was rolling them down the driveway?

And that’s when I walked off and left the two of them alone.

And apparently that was my BIG mistake.

Teenage Boy Zombies and Teenage Girl Vampires are never supposed to be left un-chaperoned.

Something cultural, I suppose.

Ghouls are very protective when it comes to bloodlines…both theirs and ours…if you catch my drift.

And I guess it makes some sense.

Could you imagine a Vampire/Zombie Baby?

There’s no telling what havoc that kid would reap.

So they try very hard to stick with their own kind.

And now they’re saying I messed all that up.

But like I said…it was just one date.

Maybe a creepy date…but what do you expect from two spirited, undead teenagers?

I didn’t know I was tainting the whole ghoulish gene pool.

Besides, I could tell right from the start that Natalie found Todd to be a little showy…you know with all the personal dismemberment.

At least now I hear they’re breaking up…or at least Todd is…which is not all that unusual for a Zombie.

And Natalie is walking around as if someone pounded a stake through her heart…again…saying Todd was just an empty vessel of a man, anyway.

Ouch!

But that’s how life is, I guess.

Even if technically, you’re not really alive.

Love hurts…especially for those who walk the night.

What can I say....

Gotta go get more candy.

Somehow the first 100 bags disappeared.

Weird…..

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In reality, which can be scarier than fiction sometimes, our Halloween has been cancelled this year due to obvious reasons.

I’ll have more to say about the last couple of days around here, next time.

From a microcosmic point of view, Z and I escaped pretty much unscathed this go round, other than some down tree limbs in the front yard, which seem to just appear out of nowhere from time to time.. But the real mess is happening right down the street and around the corner for others.

Hard to put it all into perspective, right now.

But we’re all a resilient bunch, and we will.

We always do…Zombies notwithstanding…..

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