Wednesday, October 17, 2012

You Think You Know a Person

You think you know a person…for a lot of years…even call them friends…even best friends.

But you don’t really know a person until you’ve experienced them within seconds of rolling out of bed.

I’ve spent a lot of time, away, with most of my closest friends, both male and female, over the years—even under the years—as was the case, the weekend before last, down at the shore.

So I know them all pretty well by now…and I know which ones I can talk to in the morning and with which ones I should avoid making eye contact.

It’s really not all that difficult. There are just a few tell-tale clues to be aware of when they first step out of their rooms and into the general population; a population that consist of people that, for the most part, they only see in social situations…when they’re at their best.

Are they cheerful or sullen?

Talkative or quiet?

PJ’d or fully clothed?

Coiffed or un-coiffed?

Coffee drinkers or tea drinker?

Coffee demanders or coffee makers?

Coffee snobs…or…just inject the caffeine right into my vein people?

Little things like that.

However, should you miss these subtle clues there are some other, even more surreptitious, signs you can detect…if you’re stealthy.

Does anyone suddenly start speaking in tongue, when you enthusiastically wish them a “Good Morning.”

Speaking in tongue, in any social situation, is not good.

Speaking with someone else’s tongue is even worse…in any situation, social or not.  So you might want to give those particular folk some time to wake up before you put on your happy sunshine face.

If you really want to get to know a person, walk by their room and check to see if their bed is neatly made…or piled with rolled up sheets.

Did they sleep the peaceful contended sleep of angels or did they twist and turn, all night long, fighting whatever demons walk through their dreams?

Is there’s a sticky green substance stuck to the walls, and the shadowy impression of several disenfranchised saints on the curtains? If so, then it would probably be a good idea not to approach this person, either, at least until after 10.

Of course, the shared bathroom is always a good source of character defining moments among friends.

Like if they knock you over and step on your chest to get to the door before you.

Who enters and emerges in full hazmat gear carrying a bucket of nuclear disinfectant solution?

Who leaves their toothbrush balancing on the corner of the sink, with toothpaste residue dripping off the bristles?

Who leaves your toothbrush balancing on the corner of the sink, with toothpaste residue dripping off the bristles?

Little things, like that can really help you fill in the blanks.

But, in the end, personal quirks aside, I guess the truest indicator as to how well we really know a person is to look back at the accumulated years of friendship, and measure that against all else.

Woody Allen said it best in this quote from “Annie Hall” 

It reminds me of that old joke- you know, a guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, hey doc, my brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Then the doc says, why don't you turn him in? Then the guy says, I would but I need the eggs.

Think about it…..

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