You think you know a person…for a lot of years…even call
them friends…even best friends.
But you don’t really know a person until you’ve experienced
them within seconds of rolling out of bed.
I’ve spent a lot of time, away, with most of my closest
friends, both male and female, over the years—even under the years—as was the
case, the weekend before last, down at the shore.
So I know them all pretty well by now…and I know which ones I
can talk to in the morning and with which ones I should avoid making eye
contact.
It’s really not all that difficult. There are just a few
tell-tale clues to be aware of when they first step out of their rooms and into
the general population; a population that consist of people that, for the most
part, they only see in social situations…when they’re at their best.
Are they cheerful or sullen?
Talkative or quiet?
PJ’d or fully clothed?
Coiffed or un-coiffed?
Coffee drinkers or tea drinker?
Coffee demanders or coffee makers?
Coffee snobs…or…just
inject the caffeine right into my vein
people?
Little things like that.
However, should you miss these subtle clues there are some other,
even more surreptitious, signs you can detect…if you’re stealthy.
Does anyone suddenly start speaking in tongue, when you enthusiastically wish them a “Good Morning.”
Speaking in tongue, in any social situation, is not good.
Speaking with someone else’s tongue is even
worse…in any situation, social or not. So you might want to give those particular folk some time to
wake up before you put on your happy sunshine face.
If you really want to get to know a person, walk by their
room and check to see if their bed is neatly made…or piled with rolled up
sheets.
Did they sleep the peaceful contended sleep of angels or did
they twist and turn, all night long, fighting whatever demons walk through
their dreams?
Is there’s a sticky green substance stuck to the walls, and
the shadowy impression of several disenfranchised saints on the curtains? If so,
then it would probably be a good idea not to approach this person, either, at
least until after 10.
Of course, the shared bathroom is always a good source of
character defining moments among friends.
Like if they knock you over and step on your chest to get to
the door before you.
Who enters and emerges in full hazmat gear carrying a bucket
of nuclear disinfectant solution?
Who leaves their toothbrush balancing on the corner of the
sink, with toothpaste residue dripping off the bristles?
Who leaves your
toothbrush balancing on the corner of the sink, with toothpaste residue
dripping off the bristles?
Little things, like that can really help you fill in the
blanks.
But, in the end, personal quirks aside, I guess the truest
indicator as to how well we really know a person is to look back at the
accumulated years of friendship, and measure that against all else.
Woody Allen said it best in this quote from “Annie
Hall”
“It reminds me of
that old joke- you know, a guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, hey
doc, my brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Then the doc says, why don't
you turn him in? Then the guy says, I would but I need the eggs.”
Think about it…..
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