We the Undecideds

I haven’t caught a lot of the debates, so far.

There are just way too many other things going on these days…plus Tuesday night is my “Dancing with the Stars”, review night.

I’m still trying to uncover the 2-step conspiracy against poor Marie Osmond in season 5.

But that’s neither here nor there.

Still…the truth is out there…somewhere…and I’m going to uncover it.

Anyway, I’ve never been all that political, in the first place.

In the second place, I was a little more political, but that just got me audited.

Now…in the third place…all I’m concerned with, politically speaking, is if my garbage gets picked up and the streets are plowed…especially in the winter.

Oh, and try to keep the foreign wars and police actions to a minimum….

I have to admit, though, the debates are always good television.

A lot of thought and money goes into how these proceedings are staged…but, mostly, they end up with two guys on a stage, behind podiums, with a moderator positioned in front posing provocative questions on issues, both foreign and domestic.

So you can see where the thought money is going.

Occasionally, just to mix it up, of course, they’ll have one of these so called town hall meetings, where they remove the podiums and nothing stands between the candidates except a thin layer of gabardine…to paraphrase, Cosmo Kramer.

This style of debate is always a little more interesting since the candidates are unleashed and free to roam around the stage, as if they were stalking their prey….or about to break out their newest standup comedy routine.

And you have to admit, a lot of us are hoping for a tickle fight to break out…or at least have someone break down and assume a fetal position on the floor.

I guess they could get really creative and throw a cage over the whole thing and make it a tag team debate with the vice presidential candidates stepping in from time to time to pass out water bottles and sneer at each other.

I mean if you really want to produce must see TV….

Truth is, if the candidates haven’t gotten their platforms across to the masses by now, well, I guess it’s fair to say the masses haven’t been paying attention…which is sometimes a problem, especially with masses.

They’re so easily distracted.

And for the most part, a large portion of the masses have already made up their minds about who their voting for, anyway.

For the most part, each candidate is essentially preaching to his or her individual choir, which I find a little disturbing since I don’t think people who routinely sing in churches should have so much influence.

Just saying….

At the end of the day—but, oddly enough, not at the beginning or the middle of the day—no matter what the format, these debates are really just for the folks that are referred to as the ‘Undecideds”.

People like me, who routinely have trouble ordering from the McDonalds breakfast menu.

I mean weren’t we all better off four years ago when our choices were limited to Egg or Sausage McMuffins?

Why do they constantly have to change the menu?

So it’s ironic that it becomes “We the Undecideds” that have these guys doing their own 2-step dances, trying to win us over.

Which, when you think about it, is also kind of scary since, if you’re like me, most of us just vote for the guy with the best hair.

But that’s politics for you.

I mean it’s not like the fate of the free world is hanging in the balance or anything….

Is it?

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