Monday, March 18, 2013

Searching for Alien Life

There was some sort of  scientific study presented recently that stated, without hesitation, there was a very high likelihood that even though other planets might in fact be conducive to life, it probably doesn’t exist.

On the one hand, the same scientists go on to say…they could be wrong…and just don’t know enough about it yet.

So one can only hope that at least the buffet was worth the drive over.

Okay…I admit to being a little snarky, here.  But can you blame me?  I was planning on making the same announcement next week.

And I definitely had a better buffet lined up.

But that's how it goes when one dabbles in the exploration of alien life.

Until an actual alien drives up on one of their actual alien space scooters and asks directions to the nearest I Hop, there’s no way to tell.

Of course the aliens could be living right here, right now, right amongst us, right next door.


Which would explain a lot.

Especially about why my neighbor doesn’t have cable.

I mean who doesn’t have cable…at least basic?

Or a mobile phone?

And I’m pretty sure their microwave is just a mock up.

At least from what I can see with my binoculars from the upstairs window.

If that’s not alien behavior I don’t know what is.


First it’s ghouls…now aliens.

But like the high paid scientific experts said…I could be wrong.

There’s still a lot of data to sift through.

You can only pick up so much from those Wal-Mart baby monitors, even if you do get lucky and stumble on the right frequency.

The other day I heard the baby talking…actually talking.

I couldn’t make out a word of it though…it was all gibberish to me.

So put that one in the suspicious column.

The other thing that has my antennae up, so to speak, is that the automatic lighter thingie on their gas grill actually works.

Every time!

I know….

Plus, these people are always kind and considerate to all the other neighbors…entertain a lot, volunteer and give a lot of money to charity.

I mean who does that?

Of course, they could be Mormons.

I have considered that.

But it’s all going into my official white paper.

I wanted to use blue paper, but Staples was all out.

I’m also waiting to hear back from NASA on that grant I applied for.

I’m hoping to double up on staff.

I need someone to pick up lunch and, to be honest, alien life studies can be a little boring.

It’s not nearly half as exciting or romantic as you would imagine.

All that stuff you see on TV…well let’s say that’s just the figment of some pretty out there imagination.

I have never once had to use my anti-transmorgification suit, let alone the optional thoracic shield accessory.

Not once.

And the car chases are rare.

Especially if you limit yourself to a one block area.

But I figure someone has to do it.

It’s not like Scully and Mulder are still out there searching for the truth.

Except in re-runs.

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“Is there anybody alive out there…”