The Freelance Retort: No Chit…No Chat

If you’re like me you probably don’t chit chat with your friends much, anymore.

You might communicate…but actually speak to them…probably not so much.

Texts, Facebook, Twitter and possibly even E-mail…although I’m finding I receive and send less and less personal e-mails these days, as well.

It's really nothing new; I've written about this before.

People just don’t want to talk…to you or anyone else, for that matter.

They want to get their message out in the fewest possible words, if not characters, and be on their way.

Dinner – Tues - 7 30 – Tony’s – Bring Cannoli

Nothing personal…it’s just the way the culture is evolving.

No time for chit, and don’t even think about chat.

If you should call someone and actually speak to them you automatically ask how they’re doing.

It can’t be helped.

Like sneezing in a room full of cats.

Most of the time, people will just say “pretty good” or “fine” or more to the point…“OK”.

The two most succinct letters in our shared lexicon…O and K…sum up everything.

Even if the person you’re speaking to just caught their left arm in the mechanism of their new Lazy Boy chair, while digging for an old M&M, and has been stuck like that for the past 4 hours.

“I’m OK…whatsup wit you?”

What?

Hey…it happens.

Of course there are always going to be those who take you at you’re word and then go on to actually tell you how they’re doing.

Yeah….

“Well, I’ve been having A LOT of gastrointestinal issues…and you know what that means!”

Or worse….

“Oh I’m good, but the cat is spitting up fur balls by the dozen!”

Then there’s also all that smiling involved in a personal conversation…even if you’re only on the phone.

If you’re telling someone how much you enjoyed their party, without smiling, you come off sounding like you just returned from a lobotomy, and maybe you didn’t really enjoy the party all that much...even if you could remember it.

And of course if you’re face to face, say on Skype or something similar, let alone in person, in the actual room, where deodorant matters…then you really have to emote AND make eye contact…AND keep it.

“You know, I’ve never seen a fur ball…that must be really interesting….”

“Oh, you’re having stomach problems…I thought it was the tide….”

“No one throws a party like you…what were those fuzzy pastry puffs made of…please tell me those were pastry puffs….”

So you can see why you might get a lot of texts.

Of course without the chit and the chat you do lose out on many of the more stimulating conversation starters.

Like….

“What’s up?”

“How’s it going?”

“Where you been?”

“Seen any movies?”

“Read any books?”

“Talked to anybody?”

“Still have all your teeth?”

“Didn’t you have all of your joints replaced and most of your non vital organs removed?”

“You look great…considering….”

“No…I never said that was my monkey.”

“Guess what I just paid for gas?”

“Did you hear who bought a boat?”

“You know who totaled their car?”

“I can’t believe how hot cold rainy snowy dry this weather is…can you?”

“I thought you’ve been dead for at least 20 years…no?”

“Well, you still look great…considering….”

So when you take a closer look at it—at least through my eyes—maybe non-oral communication isn’t such a bad idea.

Who needs all that chit chat.

If you can’t say it in 140 characters then maybe it’s not worth saying.

And if you really need more, there’s always Facebook.

Facebook, where you can add a clever saying or show a poignant picture to emphasize your point.

And if your goldfish should die

choking on a fur ball, you can post that too and then count all the “Likes”.

But you’re not sure if those are sympathetic “Likes” or “Likes” of approval, which then leaves you wondering what people had against you’re goldfish.

So I guess there are drawbacks to either situation...both Oral and Non-Oral Communication.