Monday, July 25, 2011

News 12 Westchester- Hyper-Local or Loco-Local?

Welcome to "Cable Week" on the Retort. All week long we're going to take a look at the one thing in life, no matter where you're from, you can't live with...and you can't live without.

Okay...maybe one of two things...or maybe three, if you're odd. 

I sounds like a lot to devote one full week to one topic...but's cable.

You know....

I know....

Today's topic...News 12 Westchester.

If you’re a Cablevision subscriber in Westchester County, you are constantly inundated with the fact that “News 12 Westchester”— one of their many News 12 someplaces that serve local communities such as the Bronx, Brooklyn, Long Island, etc…you get the idea.—is “Hyper-Local”. 
And they serve them well.

Hyper-Local Weather, Hyper-Local Traffic, Hyper-Local News, Hyper-Local everything.

Sounds great, huh?  I mean as far as made up media marketing words go, sounds fantastic!

This is the definition of Hyper-Local from that, again, mostly reliable font of information, Wikipedia:

Hyper-local content, often referred to as hyper-local news, is characterized by three major elements.

First, it refers to entities and events that are located within a well-defined, community scale area.

Secondly, it is intended primarily for consumption by residents of that area.

Thirdly, it is created by a resident of the location.

Sounds even better.  Hyper-Local News about the goings on in our “little” area.

This type of content should be contrasted with local news which tends to be less geographically constrained.

Ok…all well and good, but my little nit wit pick is, the News 12 Westchester definition of Hyper-Local consists of an area that is at least 90-100 miles from one end to the other; from Yonkers to West Hurley, which I’m pretty certain is not even in Westchester….last I looked.

 But these things change, all the time.

And I won’t even get into square mileage, which is what this thing really needs to sound intelligent, mostly because sounding intelligent has never been a big factor with you can tell. Besides, I never understood the whole square mile concept to begin with...or end with. I mean, if you drive a square mile, don’t you just end up where you started? 
But maybe that's just me...

In any case…this ain’t Hyper-Local. 

This ain’t even Mostly-Local. 

This is Loco-Local….

A well-defined, community scale area…?

I guess if it’s 25 degrees and snowing in one area and 70 degrees and sunny in another that could be Hyper-Local.

This type of content should be contrasted with local news which tends to be less geographically constrained…?

Local around here is considered to be anything in the tri-state metropolitan area, NY, NJ, & CT, which is, at best, approximately 40 or 50 miles from the center of NYC…I think….

 But my News 12,  Hyper-Local  Traffic & Weather together is telling me all about a traffic jam on the Storm King Highway or Bear Mountain Bridge, which is not something I’m going to run into on my morning commute…if I had a commute…which I don’t.

I don’t need to hear about frost warnings in September for Poughkeepsie residents.  And can we at least try and find someone who is actually familiar with the area and can at least pronounce the names of all the towns correctly, using the proper inflections.

Okay…maybe it’s just the morning guy, but he ruins it for the whole class.

And as far as Hyper-Local  news goes…I don’t need to hear about the Toe Tickling bandit in Newburgh or even Oldburgh, if there is such a place, which I’m pretty sure there’s not since I kind of made it up, along with the Toe Tickler. But if there is such a place, I’m sure they’re very nice people, made up or not…even the Toe Tickler

Come on Cablevision, stop packaging us as the Hudson Valley, and give us back our News 12 Westchester.


I have never once heard anyone from Westchester say, “Oh yeah…I live in the Valley…The Hudson Valley”.

They might as well say they live in the Valley of the Jolly Green Giant.

Give those nice folks north of Westchester their own News 12; something to better reflect their strange customs and peculiar ways. 

Don’t they deserve that? 

Don’t we?

I mean does Eddie from Eddyville care, even a little, what’s going on in Rye, White Plains, Port Chester, Yonkers or New Rochelle.

Even people from Rye, White Plains, Port Chester and Yonkers don’t care about what’s going on in New Rochelle, other than the fact that Rob and Laura Petrie use to live there at 148 Bonnie Meadow Lane. 

But that’s pretty much a fictional location.

And so is News 12 Westchester.

But I could be wrong…

I usually am.

The Cablevision Trilogy
Click on any link below
News 12 Westchester- Hyper-Local or Loco-Local? -7/25/11

Cablevision - They Give and They Give - 8/15/11  

Note: Some of the packages and pricing referred to have changed in the past year. What hasn’t changed is the level of frustration consumers must endure.

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