It’s July 15, the half-way point of “real” summer. That is if you count June July and August as your “real” summertime.
Some folks get to carry their summers straight on in to October…but they don’t count since they’re mostly writers or something weird like that. Plus they’re largely disparaged and reviled by the normal working population
So, as I was saying, before I interrupted myself, seeing as Summer Half Time was fast approaching, this past Tuesday, I decided to take a stroll through the neighborhood. And, if you recall, unlike the cooler, drier temperatures were having right now, Tuesday, as was Monday, was a hot & toasty, muggy day.
As I came around the corner there were some roofers working in the hot broiling sun. Not sure how they do it. I guess they have lots of determination, and mind over matter type stuff working for them. Unlike myself who has no determination, let alone a mind that matters...or anything that actually works for me
I was feeling kind of chipper so I thought I would go and say hello; you know, kind of let them know that their hard work was not going unnoticed.
To be honest, I don't think they get a lot of that kind of thing since they were already up on the roof, and seemed kind of surprised to see me suddenly appear up there with them. Luckily, Marty landed on the lower roof, which was only a 7 or eight foot drop.
Which reminds me...
Hang in there Marty! I’m sure that broken leg will be as good as new in no time!
Gotta take care of your peeps… Know what I mean?
Anyway, after we got the Marty situation sorted out, I helped them roll out some of the tar paper, and told them when the shingles looked a little out of line, which they seemed to appreciate. Some of the guys kept saying something to me in Spanish, which meant, I think, “Thanks for all your help”!
After a while, I got the impression that the fellas were worried about my not getting enough fluids since they kept telling me to piss off. I guess that’s some sort of a roofers test for dehydration. So I thought I would leave them to their work, satisfied that I had made their day a little brighter, if not easier.
I’m not sure why they moved the ladder, but I was able to swing down from the gutter, without a problem. Not for me, but that gutter is going to need some straightening,
So, off I went, until next I came upon this sweet little old lady walking her little dog down the street. She looked as if she were struggling a bit in the heat, so I told her to go sit down in the shade and I would walk the dog for her.
After the police left and I had cleared up all the confusion, I was once again able to continue on my way. But those plastic little handcuff straps they use nowadays, left me with a little bit of a rash on my wrists…and my ankles.
It seems this sweet old lady was nutty as loon and had stolen her neighbor’s shiatsu and was holding it for ransom the last few days. When the neighbors saw me “watering” the mising dog on their front lawn, they immediately called the police.
When the first patrol car pulled up, siren whooping, lights flashing, I thought it might have something to do with Marty, or that maybe I wasn’t supposed to let the little fella go on someone’s lawn. But when the swat team arrived and ordered me onto the ground with my hands behind my head, I had a feeling there was some kind of mix up…maybe’s with the dog’s license or something.
Then the Cable news truck pulled up, and while it was exciting to be on TV, I didn’t think anyone would recognize me with my face pushed into the grass.
But, like I said, it was all just a big mistake. The old lady eventually explained everything, and even made us all some lemonade, but no one else would drink it but me.
Finally, I made my way over to the high school where it appeared there was some kind of summer camp going on. There was a bunch of young kids with cool tattoos all over their arms sitting on motorcycles smoking some kind of funny smelling cigarettes I wasn’t familiar with.
I’m thinking the motorcycles belonged to their dads or uncles since a lot of them had some pretty racy pictures on the side, and the cigarettes were some sort of non-tobacco “safe for kids” type thing.
They were a nice group of youngsters and they invited me to “hang” with them for a while. One of them offered to get me set up with a nice set of “tats”, which I misunderstood as nice set of “cats”, so I thanked him for his offer, but politely refused saying that I was allergic.
For some reason they seemed confused by this.
Another one of these super nice kids even offered to let me hang with his “old lady” for a while— which I thought kind of odd, but didn’t want to offend, in case he was a little on the simple side—so I told him I kind of had my fill of old ladies for one day, to which they all guffawed and proceeded to give me big pats on the back. I guessed they had heard about the incident with the dog.
I “hung” with these happy campers for a while, discussing the New Harry Potter movie, then finally said my farewells and headed on home to the air conditioned comfort of my little house.
First thing I did, when I got back to my office, was jot down a few quick notes so I wouldn’t forget anything when I was writing this up because, these days, I tend to forget a lot of the small details that make or break a good story.
And now, looking back at what a great day that was, I can’t help but think what a great summer it’s been so far.
Here’s hoping the second half is just as much fun!
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Retort to the Retort -
“Is there anybody alive out there…”