Sunday, July 17, 2011

On the 55th day

And on the 55th day he walked out from the desert after 40 days and 40 nights, looked back on all he had created throughout the previous 54 and said:

Geez, I smell like a French whore…”

The crowd, hearing that the man was back from his retreat, rushed forth from the town to greet him and learn the knowledge that he had gained; except for the French whore, who had taken umbrage to his remark.

Tell us wise and dusty man, who smells somewhat peculiar, though I can’t quite place the scent….”

The wise man shrugged, for it was well known that he was fond of the whores, beggars and thieves. It was a flaw in his character, he knew, but he promised to seek counseling, if only he could find a good rate. Talk about thieves, he thought….

Tell you what my good and honorable man, who does not smell so great yourself, I don’t mind saying?”

Tell us what you've learned in your 40 days and 40 nights in desert exile”.

Yes” spoke a woman, who hid her face, as if in shame, even though she was not French, nor a whore, though her mother-in-law would disagree. “Tell us so we can learn by your ways, as peculiar as they seem to me, most of the time. I mean who goes off into the desert any more…especially without sunscreen?”

And with that, the wise man stepped up to the crowd and spoke….

After, 40 days and nights in the desert I've learned, and so, now shall you, that you may as well stay for 43, since every tenth night is comped.”

The crowd began to murmur, not certain of the meaning of the message imparted.

Again with the murmuring?” The wise man said. 

A child, not yet accustomed to…well…the customs, spoke out, boldly and brashly.

“Is that all you’ve got, you smelly old man?

The wise man smiled at the impetuous nature of the youth, then smacked him with his staff and said….

No…I also recommend to always go with the buffet, especially at dinner…though they have a generous breakfast, as well.

And with that, the crowd was contented with the lesson they had learned that day…not to mention hungry.

The French whore was still annoyed, and the child walked with a noticeable limp.

Is that all you’ve got?” repeated the man as he walked off to shower. “Give me a frickin break…”

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“Is there anybody alive out there…”