Sunday, July 31, 2011

On the 69th day

And on the 69th day the man prepared to leave the sea, looked back on all he had created throughout the previous 68 and said:

“I was never a fan of flip flops because of my hairy toes. But they are not without merit, especially when using the men’s room.”

The wise man decided he would leave the beach and walk into town in search of food, as he was certain none of his cheapskate followers would spring for lunch.

As he approached the frozen food case in the local seaside cantina, he spread his arms and said, “Behold the multitude of choice when it comes to frozen dinners. Hungry Man, Lean Cuisine, Smart Ones and Mrs. Paul’s eclectic Frozen fish selection. Does this not tell us much about ourselves as a people?”

At which point a red haired temptress, in the disguise of a divorcee with two unruly children, sucking voraciously on lollipops, lured him to the side with her multiplicity of charms. The woman, dressed  provocatively in tight fitting garb, grabbed him by the collar of his teal terry cloth beach jacket and said, “Out of the way creepy weird guy, you’re blocking the ice pops.”

To which the man smiled and spoke, “Fair women of brats, you speak with much wisdom, despite your obvious endowments, for it is the ice pops among us that provide substance to our humble existence, here at Pappy’s Food Mart.”

“You keep eyeballing my endowments, buster, and I’m calling Pappy to throw your neon teal butt out of here,” spoke the woman.  “What’s your game anyway?”

The wise man smiled, yet again, for how could he not, given the situation.

“To be honest, I was hoping to impress the deli guy so he might throw me a Turkey on a roll, with lettuce & tomato, mayo on the side.”

With that the Temptress, snapped her gum and said, “Save your breath, old man. That ain’t gonna fly with that guy, though I did once manage to persuade him to provide extra swiss on my Rueben.”

To which the wise man filled with pride. “Temptress, I have no idea what you mean.”

To which the Temptress replied, “Neither do I…I just thought it sounded smart.”

With that, the Temptress and Wise man, with two lollipops stuck to the back of his head, parted ways; she to the Ho Ho aisle, and he to the cracker. 

Both smiling, both not knowing...with the knowledge that they had no knowledge and the lesson they had learned that day.

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