And on the 22th day he stood amongst the rocket red glare, the bombs bursting in air and gave proof through the night…that a man could sleep “almost” 8 hours without having once to pee.
The man then walked with those that had gathered amid the thundering roar of fireworks exploding on high, and said, “I’m sorry if I was missed, and disappointed you by my absence.”
The crowd merely stared at the man, then began to talk among themselves, unsettled by what the man had said.
Confused one among them stepped forward and said, “Forgive us, sir, for we are uncertain of your meaning on this day of independence and celebration. Miss you?”
“Yes”, replied the man, “On Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, the void I have left in your lives.”
The crowd again began to grow restless, uncertain of the test the man had put upon them.
Another man stepped out from the crowd and said, “Are you sure you have the right crowd, sir? There are many crowds, from which, it would be reasonable for one to be confused".
“No…no…I’m quite certain I’ve got the right crowd, I recognize the woman with the crooked spine.”
Then the woman, slightly askew, stepped from the crowd and said…
“Fear not then sir, you have not disappointed, we didn’t miss it at all.”
To which the man merely smiled and said…
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. You have taught me a great lesson on this day…but I’m still a little pissed off!”
But the crowd, distracted by the grand finale exploding overhead, misunderstood his words, and thinking he said he had to pee, pointed in the direction of the nearest Porta Potty.
The man watched with pride as his Followers went forth to stand in line for a Good Humor.
“I am proud of the lessons you have learned…and I’ll take a toasted almond, and if not, a Clarabelle!”